Monday, July 30

Fifty Shades of Grey

Have tried...really tried to read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'..after all 2.3 million women in the UK alone can’t be wrong, can they?

This book is everywhere!

Billed as erotica in every literary review, most people will know the plot....beautiful virgin Anastasia (slim, graceful, naive) “meets” billionaire businessman, troubled (adopted) bondage-sex obsessed Christian Grey, CEO of “Grey Enterprise Holdings”of America.

The book begins slowly, the sex scenes build..slowly but then for some reason the author spends the next 400 + pages negotiating the terms of a contract for Anastasia to become Christian Grey’s “submissive” in a world of fantasy and billionaire indulgence...Intrigued? Well it does seem as if this book has captured the imagination of half the female population of the world.  But how?

And then suddenly it all begins to make sense. Helped along by Victoria Coren writing in the Guardian on Saturday...may be this is what’s attracting us girls to read this book?

It's simple........It's food porn!

And Victoria sums it up like this (and I borrow from her piece):

“So: what is the erotic charge [of the book]? I have a theory.

Here are a few quotes, chosen from dozens of examples in the book's 500 pages.

"'Of course you'll have something to eat,' Christian snaps. 'Pancakes, bacon and eggs.'"

"'Eat what's on your plate.' His mouth sets in a grim line."

"CONTRACT APPENDIX ONE. The submissive will eat regularly to maintain her health and wellbeing."

"'I have issues with wasted food. Eat,' he snaps."

"'As much as I'd like to take you here and now, you need to eat,' he murmurs against my lips.'"

"'We know what we want.' Christian's mouth twitches with a small, sexy smile. 'Two portions of buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup and bacon on the side, and two glasses of orange juice.'"

This, I think, is the real 21st-century fantasy.

That's the erotica.

A masterful man who demands, constantly, that our heroine eats.”

Yes, yes, yes!

And, wow! Is that what 2 + million years of female evolution have come down to?

I don't know, may be it's the lawyer in me but I can't get passed that damned contract...I keep scanning the text for legal loopholes, get out clauses and contractual obligations...the text reads like some carefully negotiated costings dispute negotiated over three years and what with all that reading, some how the erotica has just passed me by!

It does also seem to me however, that like most things in life (including pole vaulting, eating paleo, kinky sex) that you're either doing it or you're not.  We can read around a subject to our heart's content but until we let go of the brambles at the side of the river and start to head off downstream, till we embrace life in all its glory and dive right in, we'll never know.

As for Fifty Shades of Grey.. Well today reminds me to give it a go and you, what will today bring for you?

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